Why is it that when someone over the age of 40 does something out of the ordinary everyone screams…Mid-Life Crisis. Have you ever stopped to consider that someone who has lived for 40+ years might have figured out that following along with the Joneses is stupid! Ultimately following the “status quo” doesn’t make you any happier. As a matter of fact it can lead to depression, anxiety, and emotional problems.
Anyone who was part of some “clique” in school knows exactly what I am talking about. For a brief moment in my freshman year of high school I thought that being part of the “popular” crowd was a good thing. But what it meant was that I had to stop talking to all of my actual friends and go along with the morons when they made fun of them. My facination with being part of it ended when I finally made a scene and shut down the queen bee when she was spewing her usual hate. Turns out the only reason they had me around was I was a 4.0 student and they were looking for someone to cheat off.
But that wasn’t my first dance with the devil. Through many transitional points in my life I have sacrificed my self to “fit” somewhere I thought I should belong. Because ultimately we all want to BELONG! We want to be accepted, have that warm fuzzy feeling when people like us, and feel wanted. Every time we give in and be something we are not, something inside us dies. It could be the artist, the poet, the athlete, the inventor, or any thing we supress to make someone else happy at our own expense.
Imagine the amazing world we could have if every day people were just happy to be alive, awake, taking on the day, and looking to make it a better place for everyone. Instead of a world with anxious, stressed, and angry people who may be living way beyond their means. Because having the new car, new house, newest this or that somehow makes them a better person than their neighbor. Now don’t get me wrong. If you can afford to have all of those things and they make you happy…go for it. I am talking to anyone doing it is because they value what other people think of them over what they think of themselves.
When someone decides to:
- Put crazy color in their hair.
- Pierce things besides their ears.
- Buy an old clunky car with cash instead of having a car payment.
- Moves into a place they can afford.
- Stops following along with the status quo.
- Etc. Etc. Etc.
It doesn’t give you a license to judge, shame, or even have an opinion. It is not your job to tell them whether it is “appropriate” or “inappropriate”, no matter what age they are. Not your body, not your life, not your journey.
So buckle up, because I am going to save what is left of Jamie the artist, poet, and athlete. This is not some mid-life crisis it is a mid-life awaking. The core person you know and love is not going anywhere. I am just getting better. I still have half my life to live and I want to show the best parts of me to my husband, children, family, and friends. Not the tired, angry, and indifferent parts.
Three weeks ago I pierced my nose, (it really hurts by the way), because I like the way they look. Today, I played at an arcade with my husband and kids like no one was watching, and tomorrow I think I will create something just because I can. Everyone has their own journey. I respect that you are where you are and I hope that you can do the same for me. Or not…because last time I checked…I can’t pay my bills or make my husband or children happy with your opinions.
So what does your tomorrow look like?